Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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