It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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