my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
