i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
