Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
