I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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