Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
