Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
