OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Jerry, you need to find god
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
