mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
