My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
