i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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