"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
