She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize