My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
