What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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