my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
