gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
