i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
