am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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