you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
