I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
