but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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