I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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