Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
