have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
