i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
