My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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