I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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