Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
