It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
