i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
