question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
