There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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