I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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