I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
