Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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