I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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