I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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