I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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