We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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