sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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