If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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