I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize