Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
