so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
