the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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