Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
