New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
