dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
So vagazzling was a success
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
