Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
