I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
