He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm having to shit out rocks
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