Whod you bang
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
