So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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