Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
