people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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