i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize