Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
