I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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