I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
