I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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