You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
