I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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