so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
