Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
