Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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