there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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