If i come over, it means nothing
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
