Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm bleeding and have questions
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
