I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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