Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
