I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i out mim tonsoeep
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize