So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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