just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
