So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
