I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
