You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
