Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
