its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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