he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
