i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize